February 14th, 2017


February 14--Matters of the heart

I am sitting in the low light listening to music and thinking about whether I want to continue this doctoral program. My head says "no", but my heart is less sure. Or maybe it is the other way around. I ask myself why I want to do this, versus doing other things I love like taking photographs and traveling. Having my summer off to do whatever I want. I don't know. That's what I'm thinking about.

In past experience, when I have been doing something that prevented me from doing other things, once that thing was no more, my desire to do the other things diminished. It's like, when I am in the middle of an assignment, I'd rather be cleaning the house. But I don't really want to clean the house. I just don't want to be doing the assignment.


When I was leaving work today I saw a squirrel sitting on the bench looking at me. One of the professors on the other side of the building (the side with all the rocks and dinosaurs) puts peanuts in his windowsill, so there are always plenty of squirrels hanging around in the general vicinity. Back when I was taking photo classes, we were told that squirrel pictures didn't count for anything, as they were ubiquitous. But I still like photographing them when the opportunity arises. I like squirrels.

When I got home, Malida had a little valentines treat for me--a daffodil, a Hello Kitty card, and some candy. I got her a card and a necklace. Surprisingly, Valentines day is a big deal in Thailand. I remember being there about 5 years ago, and seeing people selling stuff on the streets--mostly for high schoolers and college students, I think.

hello kitty valentine
  • Current Music
    Thomas dolby--I Love You Goodbye