zyzyly (zyzyly) wrote,

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July 5--a low-flying panic attack

I stayed up too late last night, past my self-imposed midnight bedtime, and woke up late, past my self-imposed wake up time of 7 am. And then I didn't take my morning walk, and moped around the house all morning. That is exactly the reason I self-imposed. I finally got out of the house a little past noon and did some stuff.

At some point when I was out doing errands, I started to get really anxious about my doctoral project. It was like a huge weight descended on me. It kind of took me by surprise. It felt like I had a huge assignment due, and no time to finish it, part of which is true. I do have a huge assignment due--I have to finish writing my project proposal, which I have been working on all summer. We have about 12 days left in the semester and it is due at the end.

After I got home I sat down and looked at everything I have to do. It's really not as much as I thought. I have most of the proposal written, and have gotten feedback from my advisor on it. I thought about it and figured there is nothing to be anxious about, and I calmed down. I do have to keep working on it, though.

I went out this evening and participated in a big Ingress field. I wasn't a big part of it--just cleared some blocks. But it was very cool to participate in a big operation like that, where everything is coordinated to the minute, and multiple people participate. My spot was in the cemetery that I like to go to. I sat out there listening to the instructions going back and forth and watched the sun going down as I waited for my instruction to drop the portals there.

arno sunset

After that I went to the park and got in all the steps I missed this morning. I ended up 200 steps above my goal, and felt better.
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