zyzyly (zyzyly) wrote,

  • Music:

June 23--Black Moon

I slept fitfully last night. It felt hot and I tossed and turned. It was actually cooler than the night before, so I can't blame the heat, and the cats stayed away, so I can't blame them either. I blame the great sleep I got the previous two nights.

The landscaper guy came by about 15 minutes after I woke up and 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet. I know he wanted to get going because he has a full day outside in the heat. He gave me the estimate for our fence and yard work, and it was pretty much what I expected it to be. He will start Monday.

I asked him about the heat. He told me that before he started landscaping, he had an indoor job, and couldn't stand it. The heat is a minor inconvenience in a job he loves. When it gets too hot, he has his guys knock off early and they start early the next day. The more I talk with him, the more I like him.

I was thinking about my dad a bit today. We haven't always had the best relationship, and I am glad we are spending more time together. It took me a while to accept that he is an emotionally closed-off person, and that that wasn't going to change. So most of our conversation is extended small talk.

He surprised me the other day by talking about his family--his parents--about how closed off they were. My sister found an article in the newspaper archives about his mom. Apparently she had been suffering from cancer, and had attempted suicide. She left a note, saying she couldn't stand the pain any longer. She took an overdose of sleeping pills, but was found before she died, and was resuscitated. She lived another six months before she succumbed to the cancer.

My sister, who found this article not too long ago, was livid. She couldn't understand how they could make her suffer like that. She asked my dad about it, but he knew very little about what had happened. He told me that after his mom died, his father waited three days to tell him, because he didn't want to bother him with the details.

I think about how the clock is ticking on my relationship with my father.

silver lake

Another picture from yesterday.
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